How to Make Your Bad Boss Like You More - The Muse

How to Make Your Bad Boss Like You More - The MuseHow to Make Your Bad Boss Like You More The number of hours (and bottles of wine) my friends and I consume complaining about bad anfhreres is immeasurable. But the main theme of our conversations always came back to How do you get on their good side when you can barely stand them yourself?Ive learned over time that it all comes down to a simple truthNot everyone will like you, and those who do wont like you all the time.Welcome to human nature. We are flawed individuals who dont always get it right.How do I get my boss to like me, even if I dont like them? may be the prevailing question. But Im afraid its leid the right question. For one, its inherently flawed logic. Youre allowed to not like them, but theyre not allowed to not like you? That doesnt seem right.Lets take this question and flip it around to look at it from a confident angle. The real question is, What do I do when my boss doesnt like me?Make Sure Youre Removing Yourself From the EquationThere will always be someone at work who challenges you, who pushes your last button. And its probably going to be a boss at some point or another. And guess what? You will be that person to someone else along the way.People usually know when theyre not liked. If you think your boss doesnt like you- and you dont like your boss- its entirely possible they know how you feel and are responding to your negative energy and attitude. Should they be? No. But if I can get one point across to you in this article, its that your boss is a human and theyre not always as in control of their behavior and emotions as they should be. (Who hasnt snapped at someone or rolled their eyes and regretted it moments later?)So, the next time your manager does something that you think indicates he or she doesnt like you, put a mirror on yourself (metaphorically, of course) and note your response. How did your body language change? How did you respond? Theres a good chance youre feeding off each other. While being aware of that might not change how your boss interacts with you, youll at least know youre not part of the problem.Redefine Your Expectations of Relationship at WorkMore tough love for you Work is a transactional environment. You are compensated to provide a service or skill. Your boss is not required to like you. Yes, you deserve to work at a company in which you dont feel like youre just clocking in and out. Work friends matter. Good bosses matter. But unfortunately, not every company and not every manager see it that way, and you mightve found yourself working at a place in which thats the case.This doesnt mean you should work in abject cruelty, but it should help you establish appropriate expectations for your time at this office. Gaining a working friendship with your boss is a bonus. An achievement. It is not a guarantee. Instead of trying to convert a boss to a friend, make it a goal to make work friends who can fulfill that role (and this article will help you do just that). Start moving from wanting to be liked to wanting to be respected- something thats far more important than whether or not they like you.Now, how do you get that respect? That brings me to my third pointDo Your Work WellThe absolute best way to win your boss over- even if they dont seem to like you- is to adopt a killer work ethic and turn out work products that exceed their expectations. Anytime you get criticism (or even lackluster feedback), make it a point to follow up and ask what you can do in the future to improve. This article will make that easier.And when youre setting out on new projects, make sure you get the goals, expectations, metrics, and anything else you might be judged on before you start. Its harder to be outright rude to someone when theyre checking off everything you expected. Unless youre a truly terrible person, the fact that your boss doesnt like you very rarely has anything to do with you. They might be miserable about something happe ning at home or elsewhere in the office and be taking it out on you. Or, maybe something about you is a trigger for them based on a past experience. Perhaps theyre just a curmudgeon. To tie all of this together, you must understand the difference between self-esteem and confidence. Self-esteem (or lack thereof) says, They will/must/dont like me. Confidence says, Ill be fine if they dont.Challenge yourself to keep showing up, doing great work, and behaving in a way that makes you feel proud of yourself. Remember this You wont work with this person forever. Either one of you will leave, move to a different department, or take on a new role altogether.And youll hopefully be able to look back at your time together with a lot of lessons learned about what kind of manager you want in the future- and maybe even what kind of manager you want to be.